Yesterday something happened and the boy broke a promise, I was so upset and I explained how now I didn't feel like I could trust him, so he just began to cry. He was so truly sorry, I could see it in his eyes he was so terrified I hated him and wanted to break up, he kept asking me and apologising.

I love him so much, I can't even describe it. He is amazing and he just makes me so happy.

I can tell he is broken too, weird things he says infere to the idea that in someway he hates his life too and wants to escape. I'm not ready to show him this blog yet, but one day I will.


p.s the doctor weighed me today.... 42kg (6 stones 10) !!


ultimate betrayal

. . . breaking a promise </3



I don't know hwat to do I am in hysterical floods of tears, I don't thinkt he boy is ever going to understand if I ever opened up to him.

But I feel like I have to.

What do I say?

...When we were ages 13-15 I wanted to commit suicide, after years of on/off starving myself/vomiting, but then my cousin committed suicide first and I kind of realised how selfish it is. So then I dealt with it on my own. But now I'm becoming that person again.

By the way.  xox