I do not know what I am doing anymore. I feel like my whole life is just crumbling apart and I sit here having constant breakdowns. I am sat here sobbing while waiting for the boy to text me back because we've argued over the weekend and I just don't want to loose him.

If I didn't have the boy, I would probably start comtemplating suicide again. Nothing has changed externally, thats why I don't think people wouldn't understand. Externally my life has been fine, great, splendid. But not in my mind, I can't explain it just hurts to think.

I just don't remeber a time when I didn't hate myself. How am I going to pass A levels when I am so unstable?