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''I didn't go to the clinic when I said I would because I was too terrified. However I have spoke to the boy about it and surprisingly feel less scared and worried about it, is it possible to convince yourself you're pregnant when you're not? He was not angry with me like I thought he would be, and told me he will come with me, but I don't want him to. I felt like I was nauseous and had cramps (reason for convincing myself I am pregnant) but then its kind of gone now I have spoke to someone. It sounds to unbelievable and absurd but it's honestly what has happened! Then now when I think about it my stomach cramps a bit, I think oh god its all in my head, but I can't risk just not taking a test. Blah.


I will definitely go to the clinic this week, hopefully tomorrow. I am scared of walking in. I think I will I ring up in the morning first and just ask if they will take a blood test and how long results take etc. It is open 9.30 - 2pm then 4-7pm so I think I will go relatively early about 10ish so hopefully not many people will be there I can have a blood test leave and continue with my life. Then have results by the weekend and then just stop having occasional emotional breakdowns.''

I wrote this post at the beginning of the week and I STILL haven't gone, what to do? I think I will just go the doctors and take a test. I honestly don't think I am pregnant not I am just a major hypochondria who overreacts extremely, need to be on the safe side though and not the the 1 in 20,000 000 who is pregnant with no actual symptoms. I need a degree and house before I can deal with a baby, even then I couldn't deal with the stress.

Thank you all so much for your lovely messages

Kes: I have emailed you thank you, I just need someone to take to at times. You're so lovely xox.

Efflorescentwings: Thank you, I know I need to stop worrying but my brain just seems to be wired that way and I just have major panic attacks over nothing. I hope I am strong enough to deal with it all. Thank you xox.


Sarah: I honestly think it is just a scare, I don't have any symptoms and I had a period. Honestly it was my 'first time' and we stupidly enough never used protecting, as stupid people do, therefore what are the chances. I can't have a baby, if I was pregnant I would have to have an abortion and feel so evil for the rest of my life, but it would be the best choice. I know I do have depression I can just tell, but I couldn't go to the doctors and be prescribed medicine because I just couldn't, sorry I can't explain and put into words why :(. Thank you for the concern tbough, xox.