broken

 Me and the boy have broke up, 

I don't know what to do,

I love him so much.

I hate myself

!

Ex anima, how did you know? :(

The thought of college makes me want to jump out of my window,

My relationship is falling apart and I can't do anything to stop it,

My life is just a mess and I don't want to do this anymore.

I have never felt unhappier.

old habits die hard

Here I am, back to the unstable mess I was at 15. I can't even bring myself to explaining everything that has gone on this summer, without a total emotional breakdown.

Here is a brief  overview:

• The boy doesn't believe in the idea of "love"
• The problems he has in his life are probably 10 times worse than mine
• He is a weird recluse who won't talk to me
• He has so many problems they're affecting me too! (but if I tell him I am selfish)
• After 8 months I haven't met his family (it took him 6 to tell his mum after my constant moaning)
• I can't ever meet his family!?!
• We argue all the time :(
• I feel like such a bitch
• I can't talk to him about stuff I feel like I weigh him down because he has so many problems himself.

I know I love him, but am I being selfish clinging onto this relationship that may be destined to fail?

 I am back to the ol' starving and crying all day antics.

I want to die, slowly and painfully.